This quarter is off to an interesting start. There are lot things that I need to accomplish over the next several months. All in an effort to feel like I am making continual progress.
During the last quarter, I really attempted to become clear on career and life goals. I even had to work on how I describe what I do to others. Most job titles, I’ve held is always followed up with the question. So, what is it that you do? I needed a quick way to say what it is without feeling annoyed by the question. I hate that question. Honestly, I think my unease with the question is due to discontent and the desire to fully align the work I do in a paid capacity with the work that I do voluntarily as I seek mastery in a particular work. My ultimate career aim, I think is to operate in a consulting capacity. I need change; I thrive in it.
My interests are in creating strategic execution frameworks using a systems approach: project management, data analysis and social impact measurement. In particular, I have been enhancing my knowledge in data, statistics and business research. In developing my “elevator pitch” I arrived at: “I help companies monitor progress and measure the outcomes and impact of their strategic plan.” This work that allows me to operate as sort of an internal consultant at work, hopefully to foreshadow the work in which I envision myself.
Stepping out of my social roadblocks and mental comfort zone, I attempted to put together small social–something to reconnect people. It had been some time since the pandemic that I was really involved in anything social. It is almost like the social circle condensed in an instance. Most of the people I knew had moved. Supporting one friend where significant mental health challenges became evident, required an end to it. Being over 35 and making new friends is interesting to say the least.
Well, anyway–back to the gathering. It did not work out the way I anticipated. It was a spontaneous impulse where I was thinking, ‘Screw it, just do it’ someone will come. I am grateful for who came, but I could have done better. First although it was a 4 day notice it, technically, it was last minute–in today’s standards. Some had to work that evening, others had another event asking to be added to the next one. Others responded, they’d be there and kept in contact up to the start of the event, when they released their personally scripted public relations statement that sounds something like…’due to unforeseen events, this came up and unfortunately, I am unable to make it’. Some I believed, others I did not. Reconnections sever with time and distance. But you know, life goes on.
I will admit too I have a touch of reclusiveness and detachment, but it’s not debilitating by any means. While it’s something I can turn on and off, I think it has been proliferated by the pandemic. I have to actively work to stay involved in things. I always say that it is a gift and a curse. As the gift, I have become very grounded in who I am and do not take solace in the opinions and demands of others. As the curse, it is the burden that I carry as it creates disconnection and discontent with relationships because I am a natural contrarian. People are important in our life. People help you bring forth the grand vision that you have–especially when it aligns with their needs and desires. Connection is something I am attempting to increase, but within reason. People are crazy these days–disguising themselves as people of light. There is definitely a weird energy about people these days. I continually pray for discernment and the self-reflection if I am the cause of it.
This quarter, I am focused on tackling a new subject and learn it deeply. I have a strong interest in learning some new data analysis technologies like Tableau and Power BI, coding with Python, and studying business cases in strategic planning and execution. I need to do a review of economics. I am even thinking of revisiting Robert Greene’s book, the Laws of Human nature. It is a pretty thick book but it is jammed pack with insight on deep psychology! All the sticky tabs and notes will attest to that! I am currently reading Marcus Aurelious, Meditations, and some of the other philosophers like Epictetus and Plato. I am a stoic philosopher at heart.
I will continue to write more LinkedIn Pulse articles- basically summarizing things as I learn them around the subject of strategy and digital transformation. This could serve a triune purpose, 1) help me learn the topic 2) allow me to teach others, 3) build my professional brand. Lately, I have been toying with the idea of obtaining a PhD in something business related (Strategic Execution Frameworks…..maybe), but it has to make sense and yield a substantial financial impact. However, I do like the idea of teaching at the collegiate level which would be the real reason for a PhD, as it would lead credence to my background if I end up publishing work. Right now, I do not know what the best approach–spend 5 more years in school studying an elusive subject and hope for the best or start building a brand and write the dissertation on a niche blog! But what I am identifying is this yearning to teach. I will be investigating this and listening more deeply this quarter.
There is a saying, “As within, So without.” The outer behavior is always a reflection of what’s going on with people on the inside. It cannot be hidden. The mask always slips. A constricted life reveals the scared child that is struggling to evolve and find its place. Expand. Expand by all means; expand the mind. Walk in purpose! And have patience and pray for the ones still trying to figure it out! With all of these thoughts, wants, and desires, I’m definitely trying to figure it out, but be in present despite of them.
